blurred-eye-chartI’ve been putting off going to my eye doctor for a couple of years now, even though I really need it. I’m supposed to go annually ever since my diabetes diagnosis. Even though I have to take off my glasses and hold a piece of paper up to my nose to read it, I still procrastinate. Beyond having a ridiculously busy schedule, I have to ask WHY? I keep forgetting the name of the opthamologist. I keep having to ask my endocrinologist, What was her name again? And I write it down. And then I forget again.

Today I remembered something which I think is the clue to my “forgetfulness.”

I remember sitting in the chair with my eyes all dilated and blurred. I think the doctor asked me something about my medical history. I said I did not know because I was adopted. (sigh)

She said, “You were adopted? How CUUUUUUTE!”

I was stunned. For one thing, I was over fifty years old. This was a real trigger for someone who really, really dislikes being seen as an eternal adopted “child.” Even if we are thirty, fifty or ninety years old, some will always see us as “children.”

As I was peering blindly at a printed page this morning, this memory suddenly hit me and I realized why I will never, ever go back to this opthamologist again. This is just one of those microaggressions that has a long lasting internal ripple effect. Even if she meant no harm. (I’m sure she didn’t! She thinks adoption is cute!) I just realize I have no desire to go back to a health professional and use my eye exam time educating her about adoption. I just want to get my damn prescription fixed.

Now I’ve got to start searching through the fine print of the Yellow Pages and find one  that might have a clue.

11 thoughts on “Blindsided

  1. I can somewhat empathize.

    While I am not adopted, I did have a medical “professional” tell me that my glucose meter was my new “toy”.

    I was quite put off with that and replied, “A vibrator is a toy. *This* is not a toy!”

    Some people “get it” and some never will. Best of luck to you on your search for a new ophthalmologist.

  2. 😦 Don’t you have friends who can recommend a good ophthalmologist? Now, if it’s just for checking your eye-sight, I would highly recommend an optometrist, they are really great, very thorough (even the ones at big box stores like Walmart & Sears — we’ve had great experiences always — and several really negative experiences with our town’s ophthalmologist group — with more than one doctor. I can elaborate if you’re curious).

    In any case, wow… you were putting off going to the doctor partly because of the “microtrauma” (you said it was a microaggression) you suffered. You should still go, though, it’s important!

    And it’s always great to read a post from you. I missed your blogging! Isn’t it interesting how we’re drawn back to blogging when we need to share a negative experience such as this one? (I’m totally like that). I hope you do get an eye-exam and a correct prescription soon! I had LASIK last year, so I hope to be off glasses for a while.

  3. Thanks for sharing this great story, Susan! For some kind of karmic retribution, you might want to try getting your eyes checked at the UCB Optometry School, because you’ll need to bite your tongue not to comment on “how cute” all the baby-doctors there are!

  4. the microaggressions resonated with me this morning as we SKYPED with my BIL in UK. He had bought a bicylcle on EBay and was describing how it folds up and he can ‘throw it in the boot’ and take it everywhere. “You 2 ought to get bikes that you can throw in the back of the BMW and get out more”, he said. Or something like that.
    This was my microagression. He’s known me for over 40 years and knows full well I have cerebral palsy and do not have the balance to ride a bike.
    I’d LOVE to be able to ride a bike and jog and surf, but these days I use a walker to get about and he knows that.
    I KNOW he didn’t do it on purpose, but it hurt. It was another pinprick

  5. Cute? That’s a very odd choice of words. I know it comes from ignorance or lack of experience but I doubt any adoptee will ever find the entire process to be cute. Great blog. And get your eyes fixed!

  6. Pingback: Blindsided | Posts

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